Ipanema sandals by Gisele Bundchen at Woolworths

We came across these sandals (They are from Brazil, so are sandals, not Japandals, like the ones from Japan) in Woolworths the other day. Ok, cool, a pair of sandals.

NO! Not just any sandals. Ipanema by Gisele Bundchen! It’s quite weird because when I dated Gisele (Hooked up in Cabo in 1992 for the first time) we were obviously getting quite serious and thinking of pumping out a few little Gisellings. We mutually decided that Ipanema would be the name of our first child. I went on to become the more successful one, and Gisele just got really jealous and I had to end the relationship. Calling her range “Ipanema” and making sure they get stocked in my local Woolworths in Cape Town is quite clearly her way of saying she wants me back.

Babe, I’m single at the moment, so when you are ready again I always have place in my heart for you. My heart will go on! (Sung to the tune of Celine Dions Titanic epic song)

Anyway, I haven’t seen Gisele in absolute yonks (Joburg kugel) and when I heard her range of sandals for the ladies was available in Cape Town, I was quite impressed. It’s also quite weird that Gisele is from Brazil, her Ipanema sandals are made in Brazil and she sports a Brazilian! It’s like the merging of three great Brazilian things…my ex, her sandals range and her grooming regime. Awesome!

So the whole vibe with the sandals is that this whole Ipanema and Gisele Bundchen thing is geared towards saving the waters of Xingu, Brazil and the world. It’s a whole vibe of preserving the planets precious water systems so we can all survive.

Ipanema by Gisele Bundchen: R120 for that pair 

Index finger to lip: Hush my Gisele…soon we will be together… 

So when you buy Giseles sandals, you kind of help out by supporting these programs, and you also support a healthy body image for the ladies all over the world. Seeing Gisele makes chicks get insecurities, and they want to lose weight and take better care of themselves which is a blessing. Also the mention of water might divert their attention away from that Coke which will no doubt spend a good part of it’s life on the thighs.

Another weird thing is that the last time myself and Gisele were chilling together she wasn’t even wearing sandals. Someone from the press took this photo as we got into a bout of sexual healing:

Positioning herself directly over my immense piece. I miss our summers together. 

As you can see, Gisele was placing herself nicely above me. Rad. I still miss her, but I’m confident we will make a reunion soon, and we will have our little Ipanema.

Anyway girls, I thought I should let you know that you should get down to Woolworths to get a hold of these sandals, because not only does it promote a good body image (Read: Skinny) but it also saves the fresh water of the world. In addition, Gisele is an ex very close to my heart, and so by supporting her, you essentially support me and my future with my wife and our little Gisellings.

It feels like the stars are aligning.

I won’t be single for long…

Sean Lloyd

Editor