Just two things to let you know what’s happening.

Entries for the Cape Argus/ Pick ‘n Pay Cycle Tour open tomorrow, 1st September 2007. It is well worth entering early as the entries do tend to fill up very quickly. I’m sending my entry in and I think I’m riding my 8th Argus next year, awesome! Entries are limited to 35000, which sounds like a lot but it does fill up at quite a rapid rate. You can enter HERE, but from tomorrow only.

Then in other news, I read somewhere that on Sunday, at Muizenberg beach, there are going to be some surfers trying to set a world record. I believe it takes place at lunch time. I think it’s for the most people to surf a wave at one time, but I must find the article. So I’m probably going to go down there and check it out if it’s not raining too hard.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

This was not ideal news to me yesterday, because the competition never took place this year, the one year that I really did follow it!

Obviously big wave competitions rely on the weather, and no one can change this so it’s up to the “Weather Gods” as to whether or not the waves will be good enough. I was particularly excited about the competition as I have heard the power of the waves at Dungeons and they really are crazy. So I can’t get you photos of the actual event, but what I can do is post some photos of Dungeons from up in the chopper.

Dungeons finds itself just around the corner from Hout Bay, and flying over there really is quite beautiful. I walked to Dungeons through the sand dunes in the previous article

This time round we decided to take the easier route, with the better view. It’s a pity it ended without really starting, but 2008 is another year and I will be down there.

And I’m going to look good!

“Ed, I’ll be down there!”

Sean Lloyd

Editor

 

Looking over Hout Bay after flying over Dungeons.

 

 

It’s a pity we did not see any sharks, that would have been cool.

 

 

Directly above Dungeons, the best view of it. You will see the path leading down to the water, that’s the one we walked down.

 

 

Wow

I don’t know anything about this, but apparently word is that The Bomber is back. Got sent this photo today via my electronic mail. If you see Jerry D in The Bomber, take a photo and throw it our way.

And then it was gone…

 

Sean Lloyd

Editor

For those of you hitting that part of the year where you literally find nothing funny, because you are so tired of work, and for those of you who wait the entire week just for “Phuza Thursday”, now might be a good time to go to this comedy festival!

It’s well known that the sunny weather is now hitting us in the face, and the thought of actually doing anything constructive is slipping by. However, with your boss biting your head off, you might find the humour section of your mind going into complete shutdown/meltdown mode. I’m not going to go into any details here, I will rather give you a link to the website because there is a vast amount of information. I have actually never been to this festival, so I cannot comment on what it’s like but I’m keen to give a try this year. It runs from the 3rd until the 23rd of September 2007. Twenty days of hilarity.

For those of you unaware what humour is, I thought I would post the picture below to give you a guideline:

George W Bush. Funny guy.

 

Go HERE for the Cape Town International Comedy Festival website.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

Those of you familiar with the movie Old School might recall Will Ferrell as Frank The Tank in the film.

I’m pretty sure that this guy, who works as a barman at the night club Tiger Tiger in Claremont, Cape Town, resembles Frank

I don’t know, that’s just my opinion. Wait until I get a photo of him in the same pose as Frank after he funnels all that beer at the frat party. Awesome.

 

You know it! I’m back! 

 

 

 

I have to go now. I’m just taking the restrictor plate off the VR3, give the white dragon a little more juice. But let’s keep that on the down low…it’s not exactly street legal.

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

You might recall a while back we took a helichopper trip with our pilot Terry Redman to go check on the progress of the new stadium for the 2010 World Cup. Obviously we did not just check on that, and we took a little fly around the coast of Cape Town as well. I promised over the next few weeks I would post those photos, and that’s what I’m doing!

On a bit of a side note here I nearly had a heart attack today until I realised what I heard must have been a joke. I was chatting to someone in between trying to make inroads into a new article I’m writing, and they said:

“So have you been watching Idols at all?”

Excuse me? Did that just happen? Surely you are Ricky Gervais? Because that is hilarious!

What do I look like, a complete neanderthal? You must surely be joking when you ask me this?!

I must say that is funny. Hilarious even. Just NEVER ask it again if you actually want to live in Cape Town because I will have you deported.

I would sooner be lighting a candle, and pouring the molten wax into my ear than be subjected to that ear shattering noise M-Net like to refer to as “Idols”

Give me a break.

So to take your mind off that, here are the photos of the SLXS day at the airstrip:

Just chilling.

 

The University of Cape Town. Now kids why don’t you just hit those books while we fly over Clifton. Fantastic.

 

Clifton 4th beach. How we here at SLXS cannot wait for summer!

 

 

 

 

More photos to come still!

Sean Lloyd

Editor

The whole point of SLXS is to only feature the best. And if we feature it and it’s not the best, then you will hear about it. This little story has been a long time in the making, and finally I have a deodorant that works. If this deodorant becomes “The next big thing” then it’s in no small part to the work of SLXS and the testing I have done on this deodorant.

Let’s take it back a bit.

Sometime last year I went through a stage where I was really depressed, because I found myself throwing out all my white T-shirts from the likes of Levi’s and Dockers. The problem was that the underarms of the shirts were all yellow(Disgusting, I know. But we all know this happens) Anyway, my shirts were looking horrendous and I was forced to buy new ones, virtually an entire new range of T-shirts for the SLXS wardrobe. I usually go for the classic white T-shirt, like our men in Top Gun and even James Dean.

Then looking at some of my other shirts, the darker ones, deodorant had left white stains on them! Disgusting and not very fitting of an excessive lifestyle. Chicks don’t dig it. So I did a little bit of research and I had learnt that aluminium in deodorant could be causing these stains on my T-shirts. Immediately I was on the lookout for a new deodorant that would be fitting for what I do.

So then I took a stroll through Dis-Chem(My pharmacy of choice) where I found a deodorant called “Naturally fresh deodorant crystal” It said on the bottle that there were no harmful aluminums(American spelling) and in fact all it contained was water and natural mineral salts. Fantastic, so I purchased a bottle, only one, because I was not expecting water and salts to keep me fresh throughout my wild life.

Well then…I was wrong!

I used it and by the middle of the day, not only was I still fresh, but it smelt like I had been sweating desire and money. I literally smelt like fresh, crisp banknotes. I have never liked cheap deodorants like AXE which make me smell like a teenager. I don’t like the cheap smell of them. I want something that is fragrance free so I can spray on some Gucci afterwards without the fragrances clashing.

Anyway, I became addicted to this deodorant and went out and bought another two bottles. They got used up and when I went to buy more…there were no more! I got a mild shock. It’s like walking into Woolworths in the evening and their roast chickens are sold out. It will literally break your heart. I had to have more. So I asked at Dis-Chem if they were getting more in and they said it was a once off order that they had received and would not be getting more.

I freaked out. I was not going to be smelling of desire anymore and this worried me highly. So I went for a browse on the internet and I was willing to throw a case of this deodorant on the credit card. I found websites that sold it but they did not deliver to South Africa. This was quite disturbing as I realised my new Dockers white T-shirt would soon be getting trashed from inferior deodorants. So I looked at the bottle of deodorant and realised they had a website. I promptly sent them an e-mail, asking when I would be seeing my favourite deodorant on the shelves of Dis-Chem again. This is the e-mail I sent to [email protected] in December last year:

Hi there

I am from Cape Town South Africa and about a month ago I bought the Naturally Fresh Deodorant Crystal Spray Mist at a Dis Chem pharmacy. However, they no longer stock it and say it was a once off order. Is there any way I can get this product in South Africa? It would be great if you could stock it here as it is possible the best deodorant I have ever used.

Regards

Sean Lloyd

A reply came back, the very same day. Impressive service! This is what it read:

Dear Mr. Lloyd,

Thank you for your e-mail message and enquiry Naturally Fresh Deodorant Crystal products. We are working with Dischem at this time to import our products using their own private label.

I am not sure how long this process will take but I have asked Dischem to consider purchasing some products now for customers like yourself who are interested in purchasing them.

We truly appreciate your interest in our products and hopefully soon, Dischem will have the products available. I have sent your e-mail message to Saul at Dischem as well.

Regards

Linda A. Bart

And then I waited. I waited eight or so months! I used some or other Aloe deodorant, but it never had the same effect. I wanted the silky smoothness of the spray mist. I wanted to smell of teenage desire!(What?)

And then like Marky Mark Wahlberg walking through the snow in Four Brothers, I walked into Dis-Chem last week and was looking for some Gillette after shave. When out of the corner of my eye I saw a white light, a halo…my deodorant was back! This crystal mist stuff is like Sex Panther to me! They were true to their word, and this stuff was in South Africa!

The new bottle on the left, and the old on the right. Awesome stuff. 

So the new bottles have arrived in South Africa and they are branded with the Dis-Chem logo and the only thing that has changed is that “aluminums” has now been changed to the South African spelling of “aluminiums” It’s still the best deodorant out there and I would not use anything else.

I have been doing some research on the internet on the dangers of aluminium in deodorant, and a lot of things I have read have said it is not really harmful to you. Some articles go on to say the amount of aluminium in deodorant is negligible and that we are more at danger from chemicals in tap water. However, I would still rather use this deodorant than spraying alcohol and aluminium under my arms.

This deodorant is back in my life and I am so happy I don’t even know how to express myself!

What I will tell you is to go out to Dis-Chem and buy this deodorant. It is understated, there are no lame ads claiming it will get you a girlfriend, but I promise you, when you are chatting to a girl and smelling of Gucci, and not some cheap Axe fragrance, you will see the result.

They have done studies you know. 60% of the time it works…everytime.

Seriously though, you need to buy it. I’m not even being paid to say this but it’s something you have to use. Guys and girls.

No wrecked shirts, it won’t clash with your expensive perfume/cologne and it rocks.

So have a shower, spray on some mist, then musk up with something quality like Armani Black Code or Gucci.

And watch miracles happen.

Dis-Chem in Cape Town is situated at Cavendish Square shopping centre in Claremont and the Canal Walk shopping centre. Well worth paying them a visit. Alternatively, go to their website and use the store finder if you are in other parts of the country.

I definitely endorse this product.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

For those of you accustomed to my style, you will realise that I don’t always focus on the story that other people do. I focus on the other parts of journalism…the parts not seen to the average observer. As you might well know, we are not “average” So that is why, in true SLXS fashion, I have virtually nothing to say about the rugby! But somewhere in the next few lines of writing, you will find something you enjoy.
You might all wonder what exactly goes on here at SLXS. It’s a well kept secret, but I am a writer, an explorer, a story teller and a comedian. You might wonder why it is only men that are featured on the site and why SLXS are so stuck in the old days, where only men were allowed to report the news(Like Ron Burgundy)

In order to diversify the site, I decided to recruit a new member to help out at an historically mens only game. Rugby. And so it came to be that the SLXS news team, from Cape Town, were seen with a new co-anchor, in the form of Brittany. Welcome Brittany!

Welcome co-anchor. ‘Ello darling!

Applause

Crying

People throwing their underwear

Shouting and screaming

Old men passing out

Pleats in the pants

Anyway, as you would have read earlier, Rondebosch were not the favourites to win. They have not played well of late but for some reason they set on the after burners on Saturday and I was surprised when I put my drink down to look at the score board and realised we were winning! We were literally tearing the game apart but I was preoccupied with other things and can’t exactly go into the details of the game because I was not offering my full attention to the game. What I can say though is that our planning on the day was stellar!

Charlie V had arrived early and blocked off a road leading into the schools metalwork room so no one else could get in. I had to chauffeur our co-anchor to the game and so could not be there on time. Jerry D was also running a bit late and so Charlie V took one for the team and secured our parking. All we needed to do when we got there was call Charlie V, tell him to pull his car forward, and we could fit another two cars in. Brilliant! The call was made, the cars were in, and SLXS were in business. As always.

I took a meander in my new diversified disguise. It was quite weird because I was walking through the school,thinking that people would want to touch me and praise me for my writing talent. But it seems that they were more interested in our co-anchor. Pleasant. So I took a back seat and enjoyed the day for what it was. A mix of drinks. Jerry D was back to top form after hitting a bit of a slump of late. When last did you hear of him? Other than being mentioned in The Bomber article? Welcome Back Jerry D. Hitting top form, as you can see in the photo below:

Spilling a rum and coke on his T-shirt, and a bit of 5 o’ clock shadow. Jerry D is back! And all that is man.

Please also notice the cup that Jerry D paid R7 for from the Milo man. The most expensive cup of the day. Jerry D literally does live the dream. Bachelor pad in Stellenbosch, flat screen the size of a swimming pool, near all the dirty parties, he pilots the Bomber(Now with Garmin GPS…I think we need a review Jerold), plays X-Box all day and in between…well in between….I’m not sure what he gets up to. I literally do not know what he is thinking or doing but I do find it strange when I am working on articles and interviews(To come in the near future) that he will call me on a Monday morning for a beer at The Waterfront. Luckily my schedule allows this, and so we normally do it. When I get onto the subject of work I just hear Jerry D mumbling in a Spanish sounding language before changing the subject. It’s clear Jerry D is not into any legal businesses. Only underground stuff.

The only news that I have on the game is that Rondebosch played like crazy men. I was actually expecting them to get cleaned, and they not only held up, but they gave the Bishops guys a very good run. It’s a pity they lost it in literally the last 4 minutes of the game with a final score of 27-24. The photo below is the only one I took of the game as we hunted down the Cape Town dream in dramatic style at Rondebosch. It was excess at the highest level, but I survived so that I could tell the story.

The Bosch boys forming a tunnel

I have never seen the Rondebosch crowd going so crazy for their team! They brought out the big guns on Saturday and the support was amazing. Everyone was going mental on the sidelines when we realised that the boys were about to take the win. But such is life that Bishops won it and congratulations to them for that. But it was so close! It really was an awesome game, one of the better performances I have seen from Rondebosch.

They need to play like that every game, I have never seen them like that. And judging by the comments made about the game, the Rondebosch supporters have never been prouder, even coming off with a loss.

Bishops, well done, and we will see you again next year, I hope it’s as much fun. As well as I think Bosch played…the results still say Bishops won and a congratulations goes out to them. As unlucky as Rondebosch were to lose the game in the dying minutes, it also takes the midas touch to score in the final minutes from Bishops after being dominated the whole game.

Back to the other parts of the day. As I say, I usually shy away from the mass hysteria and follow other stories happening around the story that I am covering. And so I found myself going into the bathrooms, where I stumbled upon this:

 

 

“And this coach, is how babies are made!”

 

Just a tub of Muscle Science Xplode performance booster chilling in the change rooms. No big deal really. I’m sure it’s available at all good pharmacies. But then on closer inspection, notice the white residue around the tub. Like someone has literally put their face into the bucket, and taken the whole tub up their nose. Interesting way of delivering the supplement into your muscles.

So it was away from the changing rooms again when I heard lots of screaming. I thought Mike had downed the last of his bottle of rum and was now in an alcoholic daze of sorts. It turns out Rondebosch had scored, and so I ran away from the change rooms for no reason. I was keen to see what else was lying around. Badger milk perhaps?

The game ended in much excitement and for me this was a cue to head to the pavilion to have a beverage. Which was quite a pleasant experience.

The SLXS co-anchor, Brittany was…where was she? She is so sneaky, I never know what she’s thinking. Did she write anything for this article? Where is she now? I’m clueless.

After the debauchery ended there, we headed to an old friend, Forresters Arms for a beer. By this point most people were not speaking English at all. I was making out some morse code coming in, and I was sure I saw some smoke signals as well. But no English whatsoever.

We then headed back to the SLXS playroom to catch up on some….I don’t know what I’m talking about. We had a little lie down, and then it was off to Wadda in Claremont.

Wadda had a weird vibe as I saw people who were so drunk they literally did not know what planet Earth was. The upstairs section was closed, which made for quite a sweaty downstairs section. We met up with Mike, kicked it for a drink and then we were home again. The day was too long to be able to make a big party that night!

As you can imagine, we have been coming off a rough winter and some of our dams are overflowing. This means that we have not been seeing much sun. And we underestimated having a little bit of rum in the sun.

Some classic quotes came from the day, after the headaches hit home hard:

“It feels like there is a little man with a jackhammer behind my eye, and he is pounding the back of my eyeball and that spot where your medulla oblongata sits”

“It feels like my brain is going to explode into little biscuits”

“I want to go to Italy now so I can break plates”

Classic stuff!

You forget how hard we work to get you these pictures and commentary. I was at the rugby from about 10:30am, and only left at about 3pm. Then it was all work from there as we sent it into the evening until about 1am or so. Work on a Saturday? Unheard of in the world. But I do it. I love it.

As you can see, I managed to avoid going into the details of the game here, but I still kept you reading. Such is my power with words.

I’m like…like… I have absolutely no idea.

WAIT!

There is more!

You might think that this is the worst rugby write up ever as I was not really concentrating on the game. Luckily for me, I managed to get hold of the Bishops videographers report on the game which I received from Jason M of Bishops. I will edit this into a little piece for the people who really want to know about the game.Do I continue to amaze you?

I think I do!

It might take me some time to edit as I’m trying to get my head around things such as “Knock on”, “penalty”, “phase plays” and “kick down field”

I will write you soon.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

 

I’m officially naming this condition. One day when you go visit your doctor, and he/she/it diagnoses you with PWD , you can be safe in the knowledge that the SLXS team officially recognised the disorder first. It is ours. I own it. I dominate it. And it seems I currently suffer from it along with Charlie V and others who had excessive amounts of fun this weekend. I sometimes wonder, with what I do, is it possible to have too much fun? Can you literally run out of fun things to do? I thought about it for a while and then realised it is entirely possible. If you live somewhere else. Luckily for us we live in Cape Town, so we are safe.

Anyway, after the rugby yesterday, which you will be hearing about soon, we hit rock bottom. After mingling the whole day with beautiful girls, drinks and friends, we realised that we had maxed out our inner “Fun Police” I woke up this morning feeling as though my world was about to implode. Was yesterday in Cape Town too much fun? Well if you follow the SLXS rules, you can never have too much fun.

But you still might suffer from PWD from time to time. What is a person to do when this happens? There is only one thing to do! Go roaming Cape Town in the VR3. The weather is terrible today and so we did the one thing you should not do when a storm is approaching…play golf! We do tend to live life on the very knife edge though.
We never hit the real course though as we do have some resemblance of intelligence. Instead we hit The River Club Driving Range for a spot of golf ball abuse. I realised if I did not hit some golf balls, hard, I would be throwing my computer through my window. I was that bored and sad after another day of complete excess.

So we packed a couple of clubs, including the Taylor Made Burner, and piloted the carriage towards the driving range. The rain(I must add here that it was not in Spain. The rain in Spain. Whatever, I thought it was amusing. I’m building up my humour slowly after yesterday) was coming down and my humour situation was getting to new lows.

Until I started smashing golf balls all around the course like The Rock. I hooked them, I sliced them, I got good lift on them, I messed a lot of them up, I got my shoes wet in the rain, I laughed and I even nearly cried. The rain disguised my tears. Emotions were spewing out all over the range. I was on a grass course of emotion.

Charlie “Tiger” V. Look how depressing and dark it was.

I felt better after that and I have now found the cure for PWD. I have recognised the ailment, and found the cure. The cure is any driving range, anywhere. Although The River Club is quite special, with a bar on the premises to make sure you come out feeling really happy. After hitting 100 beers and 3 or 4 golf balls, you will be the opposite of depressed. You will be ecstatic!

Luckily for us, Cape Town people have a decent sense of humour as well. Which is why I laughed when I spotted the following on the back of a Citi Golf. There is something about Citi Golf owners that just make them awesome.

No fat chicks. This humour is inherited, not learnt. You won’t find this on a cereal packet.

 

Cough cough…VR3. Hint hint.

So I laughed at that.

Pretty standard Sunday otherwise by my standards. Stay tuned for another week here at SLXS, where you never know what the next day holds. Because we don’t plan ahead, we just wing it.

Living like a rock star.

Until the new week. Love and peace to the masses.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

I actually just found this article in my head right now. Nice lazy Sunday afternoon after excessing it at the Rondebosch/Bishops game yesterday(Write up in the week, of what we remember) and I manage to remember this. I think it’s funny. You might not. But you will probably read this anyway.

I shop fairly regularly at Makro because you can buy stuff in bulk. And when you live excessively, you don’t want single items of anything, you want the whole truck load. I often find myself strolling into Makro looking for some electronic equipment and end up walking out with an entire box of liquorice(Lucky for spell checker, that’s an horrendous word to spell on a Sunday) , which leaves my teeth black.

I also bought my massive punching bag at Makro, but have no space to hang it in. Not ideal. Makro also have a great bottle store which is quite handy if you like to have a drink from time to time. Although, when buying at Makro you literally buy so much that it would seem that you like more than a single glass of scotch. Maybe an entire vat of whiskey. This might garner you the label “Raging alcoholic”

Anyway, as you can imagine, Makro deal with vast quantities of anything you want to buy. And obviusly to protect all of this, they need a decent security system.

But when you go to the Makro in Ottery, you will be shocked to see the security guard at the front gate. The first couple of times I saw him, I thought he was having me on. I even laughed a couple of times.

But as the weeks went by, I realised this was not a joke.

You see, this Camel Man seems to be carrying some sort of double barrel/pump action style looking shotgun. No jokes, go have a look for yourself. Makro in Ottery.

I wanted to add a photo here, but I am too scared to try and get a photo. He will literally shoot me apart.

“Excuse me friendly security man can I…”

I motion to take out my camera.

Grinding sound of metal as he pulls the gun back to load it.

“No photos” While pointing the gun at my knees.

“Ok cool I was just wondering actually if you wanted R100 for being so friendly?”

Then get back in the VR3 and drive fast because the VR3 does not do slow. It has only two speeds. Off and warp speed.
But go have a little look at Makro in Ottery, you will be quite amused. Or maybe it only amused me. You know…small things for small minds.

Sean Lloyd

Editor