I’ve been scouting for houses that I know you’ll buy in Cape Town, and I really can’t get Villa Lara out of my head. Villa Lara isn’t actually for sale, but once you have…oh…say 27 million pounds in your bank account, I’ll personally give Chris a call and get the bidding started. Villa Lara has, and always will be, my soft spot. Everytime I’m there, or even near there, I get this warm feeling inside and just want to drink Villa Lara, or roll it up and eat it. So right now you’re either living in Cape Town or you’re not. If you are, you’re in the centre of the dream, and you need that special something to top it off.

If you’re not in Cape Town, then there is clearly something wrong with you, and you need a lot of money to get here, and live thed dream. I’m going to show you a quick couple of pics of my one true love:

Ah yeah…that’s Cape Town by the way. That’s what we do for a living. Rock ‘n roll excess! Where are you? Oh…England? Oh that’s cool. Perth? Ok, nice one, DUDE.  While today’s pound exchange rate is about R12 to a pound, at 27 million pounds you’re looking at a cool R324 million, give or take a few bucks. I think it’s fairly safe to say that WE will be able to buy Villa Lara once tonight’s draw is over.

We’ll bask in the sunlight, we’ll write books, seduce ourselves and live the Entourage dream. We’ll be one step closer to having full control of the city!

Keen? Play below, let’s win Villa Lara. I’ll tell you now that I’m in it to win it. I’ve watched The Secret, and only good vibes.

See you at the villa. The first party? Everyone’s invited.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

I’ve just been taking a look through this months ManMail and I know you’ll love it!

It’s full of wine, food, braai’s, women, fashion, books, movies, accessories, clothing and the best thing of all is that it’s…free! Ja…all you have to do is click the link I’m going to give you, and you’ll own it. It’ll be yours!

My precious (Hold it like that Lord of the Rings thing would…except that it’s inside the computer, so you can’t hold it…but you get the point)

From now on it will be simple to download it because I have conveniently asked Bill Gates and Steve Jobs to create a “link” They designed this object and the word “link” specially for me so it’s quite something. And it didn’t even cost me anything.

“For you Sean…the world”

Thanks, DUDES!

Ok I am getting a little bit into weekend mode here but simple click the link below to get your free ManMail.

Oh as I was saying from now on the link will be on the left side of this “page”, which you will see. If you’re a potato, I’ll simplify it and show you.

Sean just completed his Advanced PhotoShop Classes.

There we go. I don’t think I can do that much more to make your life more successful, sexual and wealthy.

Zooooooooom…And I’m gone!

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

I’d basically make the most awesome mayor in the world, because everyone would be thin (Probably bordering on anorexic) if I were in power. We’d all be eating salad, all the time! No fat, no rubbish. Winter would be no problem because we wouldn’t eat all those naughty fatty things. I’d have everyone on a Spartan diet!

I’m not the mayor of Cape Town (Yet…)  but if I were, I’d definitely bash McDonalds down (Thunder thighs) and open up a Sumo Salad. No more canteen cooking for you my whale-ish darling.

That’s what you’ll have. Breakfast and dinner. No lunch babes.

“Troops! Summon the sumo salads! For tonight we dine in Dolce&Gabbana and Tom Ford! And tomorrow we will defeat fat, and be PHAT!”

*I’m just writing this in the Calvin Kleins. Listening to “Some guys have all the luck” by Rod Stewart. Seductive.*

Sumo Salad have perfectly captured the SLXS eating lifestyle with their line “We put the Sumo in your salad, not in you!”

The Sumo Salad chain was created by some twenty something people in Australia (Gooday mate!) and basically they serve these big ass salads, that won’t make your ass big. They’re tasty and will fill you up as well. Without making you bloated and FAT.

*You sipping your coffee. Talking to you darling. Hope that’s xylitol in there and not sugar*

I think this is exactly what Cape Town needs as their restaurant representation. So whenever Cape Town is mentioned, Sumo Salad is like their official restaurant.

I say this in the interests of public safety. It’s true that big people can break things, and if they accidentally bump into a kid they will kill them. Or they might sit on a child, and kill that child. Very dangerous. We need to go back to eating like cave people, because that way there will be no more weight issues, we will be healthy, disease free and best of all…everyone will have a body that is not sick, but SICKIE WOO!

And I also think Nike should sponsor us all some Nike Free so we can get back into shape. You can run with me baby cakes, I run around 3 or 4 times a week. Which keeps me in shape because this is what’s needed for me to represent Cape Town in a good fashion. I would never be able to promote Cape Town if I were…you know…in a bad way.

I think we should all click HERE to see what Cape Town really needs. It’ll be an investment!

Seriously, I know we have Kauai but I think Sumo Salad needs to be here. At least in canteens at office buildings, just to make sure that no one oversteps the size zero boundary.

Believe it or not size zero is cool. I’m probably a size zero. What’s a 29 waist?

Oooooooh! Naughty naughty!

Yeah…boxing fit. Run 40km’s a week. Eat minimalistic. Be in awesome shape. Represent. Bang. You. Touch. ME.

Over and out.

*What’s ablaze?*

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

(I can’t remember if I saw this on TV once, or in a magazine, or if I just made it up because I’m all that and a bag of coke)

So this story just kind of starts…NOW!

Well anyway, it got later and later in the evening and there were some stragglers left over, until some absolute angel arrived in tights and white Adidas shoes, like a fitness instructor.

Oh. My. Bone.

This chick was super hot.

We’re getting more to the point here. This doesn’t relate to Saturday night, but to parties where you truly feel that you’re searching for stragglers, searching for anyone to pull! If you’re a cool person, you’ll know when to leave a party. No one wants to be the last man standing, trying to pull the chick who is a bottle of Jack down.

You need to know this, and as I’ve told people before –

“We should’ve left when Leo left”

There comes a point where you need to live your life like a celebrity. You need to think, if the cameras were around now, would I look cool?

No one looks cool trying to hook the sweaty drunk chick on the D-Floor. You don’t want to be that man. Leave the party at it’s peak. It’s like a good career, rather leave at your peak than fade away. Max out the party until a point. The “Leo” I refer to is Leonard di Caprio.

At his peak he was the ultimate party master. He was everywhere, he was cool, hell, he still is cool. He knows when to arrive, when to pull the models, when to leave. You’d never catch Leo at an uncool party, or even at a cool one after the coolness had worn off.

You’d never catch Leo at a party trying to pull the last birds on the dance floor. Because he was already home banging the models. That’s who you want to be, hell, that’s who I want you to be!

So next time you’re at a jol in Cape Town ,think to yourself “When would Leo leave?”

That point when Leo leaves would be just before the masses leave. It requires an intrinsic foresight into the working of a party. If you leave when the masses leave, you’re just part of the masses. You need to time it right, so that you leave at that point just as everyone starts to think, maybe we should leave. This way, you’re about 30 minutes ahead of everyone else.

You don’t want to leave too late either, because then you’re jsut desperate. But in retrospection, there are some parties that you should never leave. Those house parties where you need to stay over, but in a clubbing sense, do the right thing.

Leave when Leo leaves.

Once you’ve mastered this, you’ve mastered one more aspect of the SLXS lifestyle. You’re on your way to being your, and everyone elses, dream.

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

During the recession, there is nothing more hysterical than vulgar displays of wealth. I’m not talking about buying a house, because everyone does that and it’s not exactly vulgar. I’m talking smaller things that have more of an impact and are more socially unacceptable.

Like my batch of “Fuck the recession I’m still rich” T-shirts, and our Blue Pussy (HERE)

Another way to clearly show your disgusting wealth is to open your champagne bottle with a saber as all the cool kids do. A little bit of information on sabrage from WikidCool:

Sabrage is a technique of opening a champagne bottle with a saber and is most notably used for ceremonial occasions. But if you live the life of decadence and luxury, you can just open all your bottles with a saber! Sabrage involves sliding the blade along the bottle towards the neck. The force of the blade hitting the lip breaks the collar from the neck of the bottle.

The technique of sabrage became popular in France when the army of Napoleon visited the aristocrat domains. It was just after the French revolution and the saber was the weapon of choice of Napoleons cavalry, The Hussar. Napoleon had good reason to celebrate due to his victories across Europe.

Sabrage on Veuve with a Swiss Army Knife? Not ideal

As Napoleon so wisely said “Champagne: In victory one deserves it; in defeat one needs it”

Wise words!

So there’s another little trick to add to your already ridiculous bundle of tricks to completely avoid the 2009 recession. We’ve also been avoiding it quite nicely,  for a quick recap click HERE.

RAD-NESS!

Sean Lloyd

Editor 

Ok, I don’t quite know how to put this or if I should put this at all, but I’m a humanitarian of sorts and I’m throwing this out there.

Lindsay Lohan can come and stay with me for a month. Obviously the life will be terrible, with this being the average view from the pool, if we choose to stay at the villa:

I’ve never really considered having a movie star stay with me but I’m at the point in my life where I feel it’s right. Obviously the lifestyle will have certain advantages, such as the Cape Town crowd being so casual around celebrities that you will pretty much blend into the background and no one will take notice of you.You’ll be free to do whatever you like!

We’ll also probably be making a music video in that time, so you may care to take part in it. I think we’ll have Nash producing, with Swaz playing creative director.

Cape Town is essentially what you need to sort your life out, get away from L.A and all the shenanigans and centre your vibe. Your accommodation will be sorted, you’ll be hanging with the crew all the time (Those of you who form part of my crew and have day jobs WILL take a months leave)

I think it will be cool to chill, we’ll be spending ridiculous amounts of time exploring leisure pursuits, chilling shooting the breeze, coming up with sick new creative ideas and videos, and basically things will kick along at a slow pace.

We’re pretty used to hanging around celebrities as we essentially have to hang around ourselves the whole time, so we can do “celeb”.

So, Lindsay Lohan, if you’re keen to escape the craziness of L.A, or wherever you are now, and keen to spend a month or whatever in the raddest city in the world, then you can contact me.

Details? Drop me a line at seanl (at) slxs (dot) co (dot) za

We’ll organise and you can come kick it with the crew.

So get in contact, live the dream.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

I remembered when I left school in 2003 and everyone said they were moving to London, and people still say that. The haters say that!

I’ve just been browsing DailyMail and came across two interesting stories. The first one is an article entitled “London suffering from shocking rise in rare Victorian diseases”

It goes on to say that typhoid, whooping cough and scarlet fever are on the rise. That’s SO cool, I REALLY want to move to London for that! I blame it on the dire lack of a life over there, including life giving sunlight.

Then there is another article entitled “Hottest day of the year as parts of Britain bask in 21 C sun”

I honestly thought they were joking when I read this! 21 degrees celsius? Cape Town eats that for breakfast man!

I was then browsing Facebook (You should sign up, it’s fairly new, but very useful), and stumbled upon some photos of one or two of my girlfriends at this years Pro-X extreme sports event in Cape Town. Some of the angels I know were promoting Monster Energy Drink. So what I did, without their permission at all (That’s how I roll), was take these photos and upload them on SLXS to show you that in Cape Town, everything is going great!

While London is COLD and UNHEALTHY, Cape Town is this:

That’s what we refer to as “healthy”

And this is what we refer to as “baking”

I love this city, wooooooooooooooooo hooooooooooooo!

And to all the other girls interested in the SLXS lifestyle and hanging out with the crew, that is what you should look like. It’s not that I’m vain, superficial or shallow in the least (Well I am actually), but if you don’t fit into this category of hotness, then unfortunately I can’t hang out with you or be seen with you.

It’s just that the SLXS readers trust me to only bring them the best of what Cape Town has to offer, and if I let them down, then it’s bad for brand SLXS that we have built up painstakingly.

But let’s not see this as a negative thing. For you who don’t have bodies like that, it only motivates you to get into the gym, so that you can in fact hang out with us and live the lifestyle! I see SLXS as the grain of rice that you dangle in front of the starving sweatshop worker.

It makes him work harder!

And so SLXS makes you work harder, to be your best! You see it’s not all about my sexual desire, in fact my angel, this is all about you!

And if you don’t look like the above angels, you’re only letting yourselves down in the end.

And by letting yourselves down, don’t think I’m angry with you. I’m just disappointed.

Kisses.

And……….run!

(If you fit the description of the above, don’t hesitate to send photos to me to be added into the SLXS portfolio: seanl (at) slxs (dot) co (dot) za )

Sean Lloyd

Editor in SICK!

Some of you are under the misconception that my lifestyle is extremely easy.

EXCUSE ME?

You get up at 6:30am to mince and shmooze at The Mount Nelson Hotel in Cape Town. Yeah, I just got back now. That’s a long time I have spent working for YOU, my readers. It’s all to feed your soul and your sense of desire, your lust for me.

Does this look easy to you? NO!

“Garcon! Garcon! More cake please…make haste…”

Billy Joel The Piano Man spotted at The Mount Nelson in Cape Town!

Yeah now do you want to live my lifestyle? I thought not.

Back to the grindstone! Come now!

Sean Lloyd

Editor

You remember when I stayed at The Cullinan Hotel in Cape Town last year? You can refresh the memory HERE.

I was rummaging through my drawers now and found an absolute recession buster! I clearly knew a recession was coming when our team decided to punish the bar at The Cullinan Hotel in Cape Town, hard!

An R11105,50 bar tab.

You know it!

I don’t know recessions

I don’t know how to actually get that whole bar tab “into” the SLXS website. It’s just so big.

Nice one boys. You see, here at SLXS we know how to abuse the lifestyle. It’s how we roll and why we roll the way we do.

Keep reading these pages, you might learn something about living the dream.

Sean Lloyd

Editor

Chris from iMod has written a piece for AskMen.com, describing Cape Town a little (HERE)

Cape Town was voted the 27th best city in the world to live in. While that’s their rating, I’m sure everyone here will agree that we’re a lot better than that. We’re basically number one. I DID however enjoy their little meter next to that article where we maxed out the meter on “Dating and sex”Ha ha ha ha ha!

Remember…use a condom. No problem!

What Chris does forget to mention is a few more reasons why it’s so good:

There are loads of chicks, hot ones. Random example from the 2009 J&B Met:

Just chilling babes

And everyone has a cocaine addiction! Hey?

And…yeah it’s just a cool place to live. Beaches, clubs, beautiful women, rock star lifestyle (Ahem…), AWESOME humour (Ahem…) and of course all of you reading this.

Damn it still feels so good to wake up in a city that pisses excellence. Especially when you piss gold.

Sean Lloyd

Editor