My current state: Trippy hippie

This is to say hello, good morning and to ask you all some questions, and just mention some other things that are randomly random, and completely useless and probably have nothing to do with Cape Town or the excessive lifestyle that we live.

I’m drinking chamomile tea right now. I know what you are thinking, I am not being excessive enough. I know I should be drinking whiskey and smoking Texan plain. It’s a weird vibe I’m giving off today, waking up early, drinking chamomile tea, burning incense (Not incest, easily confused due to the nature of the English language that we speak) and being all calm.

Right now I feel like…You know what? I feel like Val Kilmer as the sherpa in Entourage!( Is Val short for Valium? Is that why he is the sherpa in Entourage, all calm and stuff? I think I might be looking too deeply into this) It’s completely crazy. I could not find a photo on the internet of Val Kilmer, so I just threw a DVD in the player, played it and took a photo. It’s the first season, disc two, episode 5. You should be buying Entourage if you have not already. I’m contemplating buying back up copies so I can eat those, that’s how much I love it. I want to taste Entourage. I want my body to be built of Entourage.

Weird.

Val Kilmer as the sherpa in Entourage

Anyway, the lines from that episode are crazy. Don’t read on if you have not seen it, it might spoil it a bit for you when you do watch it. So Val Kilmer is this sherpa, living in Los Angeles and growing weed like you have never seen before. Seriously, he has more weed there than that island did in The Beach, starring Leonardo DiCaprio. He proceeds to hit this hubble like you have never seen before. Just when you think his lungs can’t possibly take anymore, he sucks harder and the hubble then bubbles even more ferociously. He eventually exhales, and gives us these pearls of wisdom:

The earth is moving, did you feel that? Everything, all the time. The dimensions we can’t even see. Everything is evolving. Turtle, you’re a dove.

Then E asks the sherpa something: You afraid of getting busted?

The sherpa: Busted, I’m entrusted. I don’t steal, I heal. I’m not getting stoned, we’re getting honed. My probation officers were my best customers. I’m a prisoner. A prisoner of war. War on drugs. It’s all so negative man. I mean the mans most positive positive tiv is a negative. Is a mega nega-tive!

How mad are the writers to actually think of this stuff? There is no way they did this while NOT smoking weed. They definitely toked it up. But Val is just completely crazy all the time! I actually know some people who are like him,it’s really cool.

But that’s how I feel right now, a little crazy. The weird thing is that I’m not smoking.

I don’t need to tell you this because everyone has been sending it to me via text message. I might just tell you anyway.

What’s the difference between the All Blacks and half a Viagra? At least with half a Viagra you get a semi (Sorry kids, you don’t have to read that)

I think I got that message about a thousand times yesterday!

Another thing bothering me is my wrist watch. I have just checked the date on both my timepieces and the one says it’s the 4th and the other says it’s the 7th. But it’s the 10th. Which brings me to this point. How do analogue(Analogue is the tick tock watch right?) watches know when a month has 29, 30 or 31 days in it? I will tell you what. They don’t! I always change the dates on my watches and then they get totally confused and lose the plot. Because watches come with the 31 already in them, how can they suddenly think “Oh this month only has 30 days, I will do a double turn over on the 31st to make it the 1st”

Has no one else thought of this before or is there something I’m missing? Am I the idiot? Because both my watches are wrong. My other watch does not have a date function which is great. I only wear a watch because I like the look of it, but when people ask the time it’s still easier to check your phone. Not that I really need to know the date anyway, I live by the hour. That’s how I am, completely excessive and over the top (OTT).

Well, it’s Wednesday, half way through the week and I have another crazy party on Friday, I will post photos this time. At the last Hout Bay party I never took any photos, I actually forgot to take my camera out of my bag. It was mad though, as we are.

Computer, tea, booze and citronella. Calming.

Please enjoy the current state of affairs at my huge wooden desk. A box of chamomile tea from the Margaret Roberts collection at Woolworths, a bottle of Absolut vodka and some citronella “Anti mosquito” incense sticks. It’s all very calm and hippie-ish today which is nice. Obviously the tea and incense calm me down, and the Absolut picks me up. Mind you, there are no insects which does not explain the citronella incense sticks. What does explain the citronella is the fact that I have run out of “Spiritual Guide” incense, which I need to stock up on at The Curry Pot in the Kenilworth/ Rondebosch area.

I’m in such a Zen/Feng Shui state right now that I feel if I get up off my chair at my massive wooden desk right now, I might knock the earth off it’s axis. Or alter the gravitational pull of the earth, pulling the moon right into the ocean at Camps Bay. That is the state I am in! It’s absolutely off the hook, you don’t even have to tell me!

By the way, the curry pot not only sell curry, but incense and tea as well! It’s like a little temple of peace and calm there. Not sure of the herb situation there currently, but I think they are all clean. As am I.

I must also tell you about the new oven I am using! But that can wait for another time. I sound like Martha Stewart today. Thank my parents I don’t look like Martha Stewart though, that would be a worrying trend.

Until later in the day.

Oh, this explains why we have been having such cold weather in Cape Town of late. Click HERE for the reason. I think it’s time we start taking care of the planet, this is freaking me out. I think an iceberg off the Eastern Cape is more than enough reason to believe that global warming is happening right now.

Sean Lloyd

Editor