So we saw the trailer for this the other day at Cavendish and it looks amazing! Mostly because I’m a huge Johnny Depp fan and because Angelina Jolie is not kak looking, let’s be honest.

How is his face when he says ‘Ha ha, it’s the only one I’ve got’ and ‘There are two men trying to break down the door’ ? Awesome stuff. And does anyone have any clue as to when we will see ‘The Rum Diary’ in SA? I have been waiting for that for literally my entire life.

Ho ho ho!

Well the guys and girls that celebrate Christmas.
Unfortunately due to uncle Sean’s hectic schedule, I didn’t have time to fit in two photo shoots, so I could only get this one in of the girls. I suppose some of the girls can look at the calendar if they are in the rug cleaning business (With their tongues)

Wow, this is the most un-Christmas like post ever in the world! Apologies. I might be poisoned from all the food I ate, don’t take me seriously.

Anyway I put together a nice little slideshow for you all, and all you need to do is click a link.

So click HERE for the SLXS Christmas present. Be aware, that is NSFW…but luckily you’re not actually at work on a Saturday.

Have a good one!

That’s supposed to be a small ‘i’ in the heading, but it won’t let me do it. So about two weeks ago my Blackberry was stolen and at first I was bleak, because:

A) A Bold 9700 isn’t cheap

B) I wouldn’t have things like Whatsapp and BBM

My replacement phone has taken a while to arrive, and as time has gone on I’ve realised how much I don’t need a phone on me. Now that people have to send me SMS’s, they think before sending them because they have to pay for them. And it’s made things so much simpler. I find that on BBM/Whatsapp, people just message me for no reason.

“Yo yo whatsup?”

When I get this I know people are bored and want to start a conversation.

“What you up to?”

“What you doing?”

I think in future I’ll just not reply to those sorts of messages, because it wastes my time. I’m one of those people who loves silence, so I don’t need to always be out doing something in groups. I don’t always need to talk, or sit on Facebook. I’m very happy to be sitting somewhere, staring at the ocean or the sky, in silence. I also like spending time by myself, because I find a lot of people these days are just concerned by how well they are doing for themselves, how business is growing and how much money they are making. All of which I don’t care about.

I’d rather be outdoors somewhere than listening to this shit. And it’s what a lot of peoples conversation is made up of these days, all the superficial stuff. Either that, or bitching about the problems in the world, instead of doing something about these problems.

Anyway, on my Blackberry I had three e-mail accounts coming in (SLXS e-mail and two work accounts), Twitter, Whatsapp, BBM and Facebook. I had turned the Facebook notifications off long ago because they used to drive me mad. And to be honest, BBM was driving me mad. Messages every few minutes with no actual point to them.

People sending me random stuff, that was just interrupting. You know how frustrating it is when you’re trying to work, and your concentration is being broken at least every 10 minutes by messages? It’s impossible, and it stresses me out.

It may also be my fault for actually checking messages that often, but I think this time round I’ll do things differently.

I’m not going to be available 24 hours a day. Maybe three times a day I will check my messages and reply to them. I want to be able to work more effectively next year, without interruptions.

I want to enjoy the silence of the old world, where we would get phone calls occasionally. A world where we didn’t share every bit of information. Where we made specific times to meet up and see each other.

I just find this whole thing of being connected 24/7 to be hugely stressful. Not in the typical sense of stress, but it does stress me out in a sense. Since I haven’t had my phone I’m so much more chilled. No one knows the number I’m using, and no one has missed me, and I haven’t missed anyone. I still see everyone. Life is still good. But I don’t have little messages beeping throughout the day, breaking my life into 10 minute spells where I have to type messages.

And the thing is, people almost expect us to be connected 24/7, replying to messages all the time. What they don’t realise is that some of us don’t want to be. But we are sort of forced to be connected, and you know what, why can I not make my own decisions over my life? Well, we actually can.

So I’m going to choose to be more disconnected. Because  we all know deep down, that in this infinitely more connected world, we’re all a little more disconnected. Our conversations are short, mostly 160 characters or less. They’re pointless most of the time. They’re used to fill the silences in our life, when we feel ‘bored’ But you need to remember that there is beauty in silence. I’m a huge fan of silent moments, staring at the mountain or the ocean, or just the sky. Or just sitting back in silence and enjoying it. That’s the real happiness in life, when you can be by yourself, disconnected from modern technology, and be content. Athletes will know this feeling, that feeling of pure pleasure when you’re out on the bike or running on that trail, by yourself, in silence, having the time of your life. That’s what it’s like to be really connected to the planet.

Not connected via social networks.

We make one click and think we’re going to help the starving kids in Africa. We’re disconnecting ourselves from the real problems. We’re just Facebook and Twitter and BBM profiles, and we say things without thinking. We say things in our Facebook statuses that we would never say in real life.

What are your thoughts on this, does BBM/Whatsapp on your phone stress you out too? Does the constant connection actually make you feel more disconnected?

Hair we go again!

Not Jacques car…but a pretty trashed Audi R8 nonetheless

Crisis I apologize for that, that was the lamest opening line EVER!

I think those hair transplants have done no good, but anyways, accidents happen. He’s alright which is good and no one else was hurt which is good. But crashing an Audi R8? ROCKSTAR!! Many boys dream of doing that, and this man did it. We salute you!

This is what News24 said:

Cape Town – Proteas star batsman Jacques Kallis was apparently involved in a car crash in the early hours of Tuesday morning.

An eyewitness told Sport24 that Kallis had crashed a white Audi R8 through the gate of a neighbour’s house off Herschel Walk in Wynberg, Cape Town around 02:30.

The witness said he awoke to an “almighty bang” and noticed a car inside his neighbour’s property.

His wife, fearing a burglary was in progress, immediately called the police.

“Soon thereafter three cop cars arrived at the scene. I clearly saw it was Jacques Kallis behind the wheel. Kallis at no stage left the car,” the witness told Sport 24.

“Kallis must’ve called his girlfriend as she arrived shortly thereafter and took him away once everyone had left.

“The car, which was severely damaged, was removed from the driveway by a tow truck,” the witness added.

Via News24.

Just a photo.

That’s Johnny Depps island.

If you want one, you’ll just have to work a little harder. Or smarter. One of those.

It actually only cost him $3.6 million. There are houses in Cape Town more expensive than that. I’d SO rather have an island than a house in Cape Town, to be honest!

(Mondays Inspiration will be taking a break until next year, because I know no one is at work!)

I love this campaign, it’s not new but it is awesome. Old school man. Lumberjacks. Wood. Fire. Diesel. Whiskey. Driving. Raw. Natural.

This is not the man that shops at YDE. This is not the man that has a stylist or does ‘trendspotting’ This is The Man.

Check it out:

How awesome is the man?

This is exactly what so many brands are missing these days. No David Beckhams and Ronaldo’s in their underwear.

This whole campaign reminds me of denim, leather boots, trench coats, jackets, v neck t shirts and cardigans.

Check out the blog over HERE.

(Images and information via The Inspiration Room)

I’ve always wanted to say this, but seriously, this is awesome! It’s the oldest of old school crime capers that I’ve always wanted to be a part of.

Last night, an armed bandit (I think it was Clint Eastwood) escaped from the Bellagio in Las Vegas with $1.5 million in chips. Do you know when people say ‘Nothing is impossible’? Well some things just are impossible. A man will never run the 100m in 3 seconds. We will never be able to inhabit the sun. We can’t hold our breath forever.

And you CANNOT rob the Bellagio! But this astonishing man has done just that.

Our Hero

He parked his motorbike outside, rolled in wearing a helmet and jumpsuit, cruised to the craps table, pulled a gun and demanded the chips. How cool is that? I honestly thought I’d never live to hear a tale like this, an old school tale that could only happen back in the day. Like an old school bank robbery. And old school rock concerts, where we just see explosions and not some whimper form Bono about AIDS and starvation. I thought these things were over, but they’re not.

Obviously cashing in these chips could be a little tricky, but the fact is, he stole them.

Which makes him 100% more awesome than the rest of the people in this world.

Image and original article via Daily Mail.

As chilled as people in this city think they are, I think a lot of you are a right bunch  of tools! But don’t take it personally…it just seems to be an inherited thing. And that thing is the flippen’ weather. I actually thought people in Cape Town were an interesting bunch, with loads of life stories to tell, but I’m losing faith slowly, because many of us are so boring that all we talk about is the weather! Now for me, I don’t care to know about something I can’t control. Like erections, you just can’t control the weather.

You’ll get a hard on in church, but what can you do about it? Absolutely nothing. Just like the planet is going to piss with rain on your wedding day. There is nothing you can do about it, so don’t worry about it.

Blogs here even post details on what the weather is doing…who the bloody hell cares? It doesn’t even really matter if it’s hot or cold anyway, because either way…you are going to complain!

“Jeez it’s so bloody hot today I can’t even work”

“Jeez it’s so flippen’ cold today I can’t even work”

I’m too hot, I’m too cold, it’s too windy, it always rains when I wash my car, my wife was wearing a bloody white shirt and it rained and uncle George across the road saw the nipples and had a heart attack and died. You lot basically just blame everything on the weather!

“Ah I crashed my bloody car today…this flippen’ weather you know! It’s like a hurricane out there!”

No it’s bloody not, it’s a light breeze, and you’re just a kak driver, admit it.

If we had to believe some of the coked up drama queens in Cape Town, we would believe that this was Cape Town over the weekend:

“Ah no Ashley I can’t run today because it’s raining, this is why I’m fat you know, always in winter”

Oh sorry, does the rain cause an allergy that renders you paralyzed?

I thought bloody not! And are you only allowed to eat pies when it rains? I thought bloody not Sheila!

Well I really want to go here tomorrow, let me just check the weather. Oh my break dancing infant Jesus, what is wrong with you people? Why can we not just do things whether it’s raining or the sun is shining? Why do we need to consult the weather report, why do we need to know things ahead of time? Some people tell me that they like to know the weather so they know what to wear.

Oh ja, because it’s so difficult to make a clothing choice on the spur of the moment in the morning? Of course it bloody is! Can we not wake up and look out the window and go “Flippen hell the sun is shining…I’ll wear some flippen shorts” or ‘Good grief the bloody sky is pissing off a hangover, I’ll wear some pissing jeans and a pissing jacket”

I may or may not be writing this after nailing a flippen’ case of bloody Corona from 2oceansvibe Radio, but am I being over the top?

Am I being a spoilt child, or are my point valid?

Well I hope you all have a great day, I’m going to go check the damned weather…you never know, I might need some ammunition for a Cape Town conversation later this evening. And nothing gets the Cape Town crowd more wet than talking about the pissing rain.

I’ve used Paul Mitchell Dry Wax for years and years, and I’m always extremely fascinated by brand history, how they started and the people who started them…often with very little start up capital. Paul Mitchell is one such brand and I think the story of John Paul Dejoria is hugely inspiring.

He’s been homeless twice, sold Encyclopedias door to door to make money, and even collected Coke bottles to get the returns on them. When he started Paul Mitchell he actually slept in his car for the first two weeks when the company had started. And while these days we want success at a young age, remember, John Paul and his partner Paul Mitchell started Paul Mitchell in 1980, making John Paul around 36 years old. So you’ve always got time for that big idea of yours. Paul Mitchell Hair Care Systems was started with $700 and is now a $900 million a year company.
John Paul  also makes money from your tequila binges…he co founded Patron tequila. His story is one that you’ll never forget, and might just inspire you to bigger things.

There is a fantastic article on Entrepeneur entitled ‘Homelessness, Hair Care and 12000 Bottles of Tequila’, CLICK HERE to read it.

It’ll make you realise that nothing is impossible.

So today, as one does, I was searching for some Gulfstream aircrafts. It seems I was researching where they can land around these African parts. Anyway, I actually got quite into it and was reading up on these behemoth environmental thrashers. And it’s a reason why I hate hard ass sales people. I’m all for people telling me about their product, but I’ll decide whether I want it or not. If a product is amazing then it will sell itself. Nearly all the products in my life have not been bought because of advertising or promotion…rather because I have sought them out, looking for the best products. Wait, we’re getting off the topic.

The Gulfstream website is typical sales pitch. Is it really possible that a $58 million aircraft can save you money? Well, actually, maybe if you are in that league. But seriously, it’s not necessary. But advertising has people buying shit they don’t need.

Check this from the website:

If time is money, then the time saved jetting from continent to continent is money in the bank. Consider the value of the G650 not only in terms of time saved, but also in more tangible ways: In the excellent warranty Gulfstream offers on the primary aircraft and the secondary structure. In the worldwide product-support network that Gulfstream maintains on six continents. In the technological advancements that enable the flight crew to reach new levels of situational awareness and overall aircraft safety. And in the inherent value of the Gulfstream name itself.

We built the first airplane specifically intended for business use decades ago. We know our business. We believe the G650 is the finest aircraft we’ve ever built.

I mean honestly, have you ever in your life?! That is hilarious!

Wow after reading that …I SIMPLY MUST HAVE ONE!!

Just throwing words like ‘situational awareness’ around like they are words such as ‘plate’ or ‘door handle’ So casually throwing them in there!

It’s almost like an Amway salesman, right up in your face, or the latest craze in Cape Town…Mannatech. Seriously, have you heard of them? The opening line of most of the sales people:

‘So the first question most people ask is ‘Is this a pyramid scheme?’ And I’m here to tell you that it’s not’

SURE!

Welcome to the Birdcage! Introducing the fine cast:

No but jokes aside, I was contacted by the MCQP crew and asked ‘Would you like to disco with the disco stick?’

‘Um…this isn’t where I parked…my car…’

‘Well we’d like to park our bikes…in your trunk…I hope you’ve got a big one’

‘Huh?’ I replied.

I’m joking, they didn’t do this. They did however want me to make a mention of the Mother City Queer Project and that it’s not only for the gay population. They’re aiming it at everyone, as Africa largest themed festival. It’s at the Cape Town Stadium, so you can only imagine…how big it is.

No seriously I must stop ha ha! It’s just too tempting though…

So they’re going with a flower power vibe this year! Think…DISCO! Think WOODSTOCK!

“I take you to the candy shop…”

Here are the details:

The theme and venue for the Mother City Queer Project has been announced and the event promises to be bigger, better and greener than before – both literally and figuratively. ‘Flower Power’ sets the scene for this year’s MCQP on the 18 December 2010 and where better to go green than at our new Cape Town stadium in Greenpoint. As the first post-World Cup lifestyle and entertainment event to be held at the stadium, the MCQP are setting the bar very high and party-goers can look forward to five separate indoor levels with nine different areas, each with its own unique sub-theme:

The Mercedes Benz, Red Bull “Red Carpet” Entrance,
A main house dance floor,
A 70’s Dedicated Disco dance floor,
A live bandstand stage hosting, among others, Flash Republic from Johannesburg,
A Gay Anthems Caberet dance floor,
An X factor – Live stage,
A dedicated Smokers Lounges,
Chill out lounges and wine bars,
A VIP Lounge with dedicated parking, entertainment, snacks and loads of bubbly,
And – another first – a Hippie trance dance floor.

VIP ticket holders will be treated to full access to all areas, secure parking underneath the stadium, a Mercedes Benz drop off at the red carpet entrance and a exclusive VIP area with its own dance floor, snacks, bars, entertainment and toilets.

Tickets are available at Computicket.

Click here for the MCQP website.

GO COUGARS!

YEAH!

I saw a friend the other day while driving. Now normally when you see people you are pretty chilled, a nice ‘Howzit going’ or ‘Yo mo fo’ will do. Not in a car. In a car people positively lose their flippen’ minds. Have you ever been chilling in traffic, and you hear a hoot. You ignore it, blaming the taxi’s. But it goes on and on until you’re about to get out of your car and break face. Then you turn around and realise it’s a friend of yours hooting to try and get your attention. You give a smile and a wave but they are going hysterically over the top, teeth showing, waving like Rain Man and generally acting like complete delinquents.

What your friends look like

So now the wave is over and you actually can’t talk to each other and then they motion for you to wind down your window. CRISIS. Random chat ensues.

Once this is all done and you’re wiping the anger from your face you get a text message from them.

Seriously, what is it about seeing a friend in a car that is so exciting, and makes you go full retard?

So you know where myself and MyCityByNight and Halo Live and the usual suspects will be tomorrow night…that’s right…at Atmospheer sweating our FACES OFF while Ferry Corsten drops it. From the response to the competition and the e-mails and Tweets we’ve been receiving, people are going off their faces for Ferry Corsten.

Our ticket winners have been announced so a huge congratulations goes to Zayne, Junaid and Zoey…you’ll all be receiving a set of double tickets for tomorrow nights event in Cape Town. Thanks to everyone for the re-tweets and comments, we appreciate the support!

If you didn’t win though, I would still love to see you there, come over and say hi if you see me. Tickets are available on the following link:
Click here to buy your tickets at Computicket

So we’ll see you all there, I hope Cape Town cools down a little before then. Look I’m not complaining about the heat, but it would be nice for it to be a little cooler! I don’t want my face exploding from heat and radness.

And I also hate sweating on my fans…they think my sweat will heal them, but it won’t. It’ll just make you salty.

Click here to listen to some banging Ferry on Beatport.

And Gareth from Halo Live is playing tomorrow, hell yeah!

I think between Bono bestowing his AIDS guilt upon you, and his poverty guilt, this concert is going to be awesome!

But the KIDS are starving BONER!

As usual, South Africa’s premier online mens shop are making it easy free for you to attend this concert! You’re buying from Mantality.co.za anyway, so you may as well stand in line to win some U2 tickets. If you can get past Bono telling you about the worlds poor while still managing to promote the bohemoth that is Louis Vuitton, there will be some good songs mixed in!

Click the banner below to buy and win.

What, you don’t know what to buy? Get some condoms or something you Latin lover.

You lothario you!

I do hope you got your Golden Circle Kings Of Leon tickets…because they’re sold out. I haven’t been this excited since I was a 4 year old girl!

I dig it how my friend call Golden Circle ‘Golden Shower’

“You’re so close the band can piss on you!”

Get Kings Of Leon Live At The 02 London, England, that’s where this video is from. It’s super awesome magical!