I’ve always been a huge fan of Neighbourhood in Long Street because of its relaxed atmosphere and homely feel. It puts you at ease. It’s like the girlfriend you always wanted to love you and the parents you always wanted to care for you. It’s that shoulder to cry on. It’s the Dr Phil to your screwed up life.

And now it seems it also had the added ability to make man happy in pants.

I was lighting my pipe (Dr Bond — Cock ‘n Bull) earlier in the day and catching up on my picture Viagra in the latest issue of FHM (Get it, it’s absolutely smoking) when I came across (Not on…Mr Nash!) the most gorgeous girl of YOUR life!

Once I managed to compose myself and stopped sitting on my hand, I read up about this stunner and her name is Jenna Saras. Naturally I Googled her (That accounts for my lazy eye) and I stumbled upon her page on Fusion Models (HERE). Well goodness gracious me Grace! Jenna is quite simply one of the most gorgeous models I’ve ever seen. This is what it says in the FHM calendar:

Where are you from and what were you like as a lightie?

Well, I grew up in Ballito. I was a typical skater girl, hanging with all the okes. I had dreadlocks (Ooooooh sexual desire! — Sean) and there wasn’t a second when I didn’t have my skateboard with me

So how did you get into this modelling vibe, then?

When I was coming to the end of my school career, more and more people started suggesting I try modelling. I resisted it, but then I decided that if I didn’t try, I’d never know. So we combed my dreads out and I went to see an agency. My mom was so stoked!

Where might we have seen you modelling?

I did this Liqui-Fruit TV ad where I had to down the juice really fast. You guys might’ve seen that.

And away from the camera, are you still skating?

Ja, I still skate to my agency in Cape Town for meetings – it’s great cardio. I also do reiki treatments and I’m a barlady at my favourite bar, Neighbourhood in Long Street.

OH MY SHATTERED NERVES SKAT!

Have you ever in your life heard of someone so gorgeous? I surely haven’t! But now onto the photos which The Google found for you (Not for me):

Oh and here is a picture I took of the calendar, but only because you all asked me to. Otherwise, you know, I would never have done it:

So if you want, you could always pop down to Neighbourhood to grab a drink from Jenna Saras.

Mmmmm…I don’t recall her name…but I do recall…her Fez…

Wow…tough crowd.

Where? Neighbourhood, Long Street in Cape Town

Why? The most gorgeous bar ladies and waitresses, good company and AWESOME food! Try the curly fries and the nachos, she’s good!

So on Saturday some time was taken to burn up the open road and get out of town…

That is all for now!

It’s funny how we now have things saying “Say no to size zero” in the fashion industry, to counteract the skinniness that has been brought about by magazines impossible ideals. The crazy thing is, yes these models are skinny, but this does not necessarily make them unhealthily skinny. I know loads of girls who are ‘skinny’ by societies standards, not because they don’t eat, but because they don’t eat junk and they exercise. The thing is, most people do eat way too much on a  daily basis in part brought about by our work obsessed lifestyles. Too many people don’t enjoy what they do, and seek solace in food. Food is a way to pass time and to fight boredom. I’ve noticed on weekends away that people tend to eat far less than normal. You’re outdoors playing around, having fun and food only comes into play as purely an energy source. You’ll be on the boat all day fishing and playing sports, and only half way through the day do you realise that you’re hungry and you should eat.

We just live in a world where food is too readily available in massive amounts, and advertisers want us snacking all day, basically only to sell more overpriced protein bars. It’s funny how a few years ago people were perfectly healthy and muscular through normal diet, but now everyone is on protein shakes and protein bars because ‘you have to have protein’ The world survived for ages without them, and the only reason we can’t do without them now is because of the job losses if all the protein manufacturing companies went bust. If you look at some of the greatest athletes in history, they did it all without overpriced supplements.

But now we have all the gym bunnies who are hooked on the stuff.

“Yussus Sean check how skinny you are”

“So what, I couldn’t care less”

“Bru, how much do you weigh?”

“No idea, I don’t weigh myself”

“No bru, seriously if you’re like 70 kilograms you should be eating at least 140 grams of protein per day my bru. Come to gym with me and I’ll get you dak china”

“Ok that sounds awesome ballbag, I’ll waste 6-8 hours of my time every week in some siff sweaty gym, just so that I can look how Mens Health want me to look. I’ll fall into the rat race society, work 9-5, work out 6-8 just so I can look like every other tosser who can bench 160 but can’t have a normal conversation with anyone because of a severe lack of social skills, and can’t run 2km’s without pulling something”

These guys are quite easy to spot so we’ll take you through a quick video so that you too can spot them out and about in the urban jungle (Thanks Trem…touch of swearing in the video if your boss is breathing down your neck):

I’ve always been someone to do things for fun, not because what society thinks is correct. If you look at the majority of the guys working out in a gym, it’s all to boost their ego’s, to be better than the next guy…and there really is no point in this. I do things for fun, and if running and cycling doesn’t make me big…well then so what. It’s a scientific fact that no one spends the last days of their life thinking “I wish I was bigger, I wish I could bench more in my life”

The things you think of are the good memories, the ones where you were out running in nature and carrying your buddy because you were part of a team, the times where you camped at sunset, eating dehydrated foods on that 5 day mountain bike stage race, the times where your team beat their previous time in the triathlon series. These will be the best memories.

The gym obsessed cultured is brought about my mens magazines and impossible ideals, and I honestly think it’s as much of a problem as what they say the skinny trend is in woman. So many guys have complexes about their bodies because they are not big enough. Me? I honestly couldn’t give a damn, I’m having a jol! And so I thought I’d point out some people that I’ve admired in my life, people who have done things their own way, and who have lived the most awesome lives in the world, having as much fun along the way as possible. This one is for those of you who’ll skip on the vanity work, and just decide to carry on living your lives instead:

Michael Jackson

Skinny as heck if you’re comparing him to a magazine cover guy, Michael Jackson was one of the worlds true great entertainers. He wore gloves, he wore white socks and he touched himself when he danced, but he was doing his own thing. He was impossibly fit to get through his very intense shows, he could moonwalk and he had the whole world fascinated by his immense talent and crazy lifestyle. No one ever told Michael Jackson to get into the gym and lift weight to look bigger. A true icon across the world, Michael Jackson surely didn’t wish he was more muscular at any stage of his life.

Keith Richards

The 65 year old hard living king of excess has been known for his love of drink and drugs,  it’s been said that he cured his hepatitis and he was at the number one spot on the “Who’s Likely To Die” chart for ten years (Source) and in 2003 he was ranked 10th on Rolling Stone magazine’s “Rolling Stone’s 100 Greatest Guitarists of All Time”. Keith Richards is unapologetic for his wild ways and all along the way he has done things exactly as he has wanted. Granted most of us would pack up and die if we were to put so many chemicals in our bodies, but Keith has had one crazy ride in his lifetime. And I’m pretty sure he never stopped to consider a 2 hour a day weight training program and protein, just to fit in with some ridiculous ideal presented to us on the shelf at the local store.

Will Ferrell

Possibly one of the funniest men on the planet for many years now, Will Ferrell has been in such absolute classic like Old School, Blades Of Glory and Talladega Nights. He’s also behind the awesome website Funny Or Die, and no, Will doesn’t care how much you can bench.

Richard Branson

One of the great entrepreneurs of our time, he’s lived through the crazy days of drugs, opening his first record store and living on a house boat, to his lifestyle on Necker Island which is his home base. He owns planes, trains, gyms and virtually everything else in between. He’s lived at full throttle with a penchant for crazy hot air balloon adventures, and you can be rest assured that he doesn’t care how many tricep dips you can do. But he likes his exercise, oh yes he does:

You won’t get that in the gym will you? Exactly.

Johnny Depp

By far my favourite actor not only for his acting, but for the way he shuns the press and works on jobs that he wants to. He doesn’t seem too phased about celebrity and you hardly know anything about his private life, he’s never in the tabloids…just the way actors should be. No one should need to get naked to sell a movie and no one should ever need to jump on Oprah’s couch declaring their love for someone. Johnny does it his way, and his way is just right.

And remember, none of these people ever stopped to wonder whether they should use L-Glutamine or rather go for the superior world domination offered by Anabolic Halo. They’d rather just keep on living their lives…

Love to get boozed?

Hate getting boozed with the plebbs?

Love to actually savour the flavours of your drink instead of smashing down cane and creme soda?

Well then a champagne festival is for you! And what better than the home of great wines and champagnes, Franschhoek, to host you for this evening of fine drinking. Let’s see what this is all about:

In Franschhoek we believe life is about experiences and the best experiences are the ones involving the ‘magic of bubbles’. It’s for this reason that we hold the annual Franschhoek Cap Classique and Champagne Festival. Where the finest South African Cap Classique and French Champagne flows for an entire weekend.

Spend the Champagne festival weekend popping corks, filling flutes, sipping vivacious bubbly and snacking on delicacies prepared by some of the valley’s gourmet masterminds.

2009 will have another event on Friday evening!

Introducing “The Romance of Bubbles”

Friday 4th December 18H00 – 22H00 – Join us for a cocktail event under the stars!

R180.00 entrance fee per day. Visitors will be given complimentary wine tasting coupons and a glass. The Franschhoek Champagne Festival runs from the 4th until the 6th of December 2009.

We will be featuring the band D7 amongst others.

BOOK TICKETS FOR THE FRANSCHHOEK INVESTEC PRIVATE BANK CAP CLASSIQUE & CHAMPAGNE FESTIVAL NOW:

Click here to book your tickets to the Franschhoek Champagne Festival 2009.

With all the music festivals happening in Cape Town and it’s surrounds lately, either people are going to get a bit over it, or they’re just going to go to all of them! It’s good for South African music though, we need to be more like London in the concert sense, we’ve spent too long not having decent music festivals and there is no doubt that Rocking The Daisies and Synergy Live (Well minus the shower situation) are cutting a sick path for music festivals to follow in, in the coming months and years. Another smaller festival is the Knysna Rocks Music Festival which will be worth attending if you’re in the Knysna area over the New Years period. Let’s have a look at the flyer:

And with Gareth Cliff as an MC you can’t go wrong!

And if you like the slightly hippier/alternative/forest people side of life then apparently the forest is full of delights! So I hear via the grapevine.

What can you do in and around Knysna:

• Get drunk

• Smoke with the forest people

• Catamaran on the Knysna Heads

• Hire a ferry or a yacht on the Knysna Lagoon

• Visit Mitchells Brewery in Knysna and get pissed

• Oyster tasting (Followed by copious amounts of love making)

• Mountain biking

Um…what else can you do? I don’t even think it’s worth mentioning because you will probably be too hungover to walk so activities are out of the question.

Well that’s it really, click here to buy tickets for the Knysna Rocks Music Festival.

Via Overtone Music

No Under 3′s, REMEMBER THAT WHEN BOOKING LITTLE TIMMY!

Look, I’d get my tickets now for the Top Gear Live show in South Africa with all the Top Gear kids, Jeremy Clarkson, James May and Richard Hammond. Oh my God!

What insanity! I’ve got my ticket(s), AND I’m listening to Michael Jackson.

So if you’re looking to get tickets to the Top Gear Live Show in South Africa, you better hurry, firstly so you can stalk me, then to see the show, and thirdly because it’s what desire is. Whatever!

Click here to buy your tickets to the MPH featuring Top Gear Live Show in Joburg and Cape Town.

Only a fool would miss out.

Wait…

I will have to reserve my judgment on the Island Tribe products as I’m yet to test them, but the service so far is top notch! Oh, and they don’t contain oxybenzone which seems to be a step in the right direction.

While I have tried contacting Johnson & Johnson or Piz Buin (Piz Buin is manufactured by Johnson & Johnson) I seemed to have gotten to a dead end yesterday, ending up receiving a number that is no longer in service. My initial e-mail to Johnson & Johnson was met by this reply:

Sean Lloyd
SOUTH AFRICA

Dear Sean:

Thank you for contacting Johnson & Johnson. It is always important to hear from our customers and we appreciate the time you have taken to contact us.

Please contact the J&J affiliate in South Africa at (27+43)709-3211. They will be happy to assist you.

Again, thank you for your interest in Johnson & Johnson.

Oh well that doesn’t look like an automated, robotic person response. My skin feels like someone has thrown battery acid on it, there is a rash all over me and it is now peeling, and they end the e-mail off with “Again, thank you for your interest in Johnson & Johnson” My INTEREST? It’s not so much interest as it is the rage!

Awesome. Clearly Johnson & Johnson aren’t too worried about sales because they are mega huge anyway, but in a world where that personal touch has been lost, it’s good to see a locally manufactured brand like Island Tribe realising the importance of good support. Not that it will ever make a difference to Piz Buin sales, but if someone from anywhere in the world does get a rash from Piz Buin, they will likely Google “Piz Buin rash” or any sort of variable of that. No doubt if you search along those lines, SLXS Cape Town are right up there on Google, which includes an awesome picture of the rash on my…very sexual body!

Not a week after writing that, Island Tribe had some samples delivered straight to my door, on a Friday. They’ve just arrived and I won’t be able to test them this weekend, as my skin still feels like it is on fire because it is now so dry. But I will be testing them. The samples I’ve received are:

• Three Island Tribe SPF 40 clear gel sunscreen sachets
• One large and one small Island Tribe SPF 40 clear gel sunscreen tube
• One Island Tribe SPF 50 ‘For Kids’ sunscreen lotion, because deep down everyone knows I am Peter Pan and my friends are the lost boys! You joke? It’s true! Why do you think we live like…that…?

All the Island Tribe products are water resistant which is great, because non water resistant lotions are virtually useless. Oh and they’re sweat resistant as well, because this is also vital. Who doesn’t sweat on the beach?

So thanks to Island Tribe for sending along the products so swiftly, we’ll test them out as soon as my face stops burning. Aloe gel and E45 moisturiser to the rescue!

(For the previous write up on the Piz Buin rash, click HERE)

So by now I assume that this rash has been caused by a chemical called oxybenzone that Piz Buin have cleverly decided to add to their formulations, because it’s clear they don’t really care about the customer! They’ve added an ingredient to their formulation that is known to cause skin problems. They haven’t yet replied to my e-mail either. The rash is going away now with anti-histamines, but it’s still there and where it is subsiding, the skin is now getting dry and peeling.

I look hot! It’s difficult to grab a photo of the rash, but in a certain light I got this:

Remember this is around 48 hours after applying the cream, and after taking anti-histamines.

So that has been all over my body where I applied the sunscreen on the weekend, it is so ridiculous.

So I won’t quite be recommending Piz Buin this summer, or any summer. If you do have sensitive skin, or actually just normal skin because I’ve never had a rash before, skip the Piz Buin. I’ll be updating you soon on the new sunscreen range that we’ll be using this summer in Cape Town.

Oh how we love Savanna!

They are currently running a competition, where the less you do and the more time you waste on the website, the closer you get to winning prizes, with the ultimate prize being a R15000 Savanna salary every month for 5 years.

That’s chilling babes!

Click here to start doing what we do every day.

As those of you close to me know (Yes you young lady…currently in my pants), I’m a huge fan of  celebrity gossip website The Superficial. Well The Superficial has two sister websites, Geekologie and I Watch Stuff, both brilliant and both on my reading list. I loved this recent post on Geekologie, check it:

So apparently smoking cigarettes or other tobacco products (no word on the ganj) may void your Mac warranty. Plus kill you slow. Hey, that’s booze’s job!

Consumer advocate blog The Consumerist reports two examples of Apple stores refusing to honour the warranty on a Mac because of contamination from cigarette smoke. It seems the faults could be attributed to exposure to smoke and accumulated tar, although there is no specific mention of cigarette smoke in the AppleCare warranty contract.

When pushed for clarification, Apple insisted that nicotine is on the Occupational Safety and Health Administration’s list of hazardous substances and Apple would not require an employee to repair anything deemed hazardous to their health.

Because I have a degree in investigative journalism am a ninja I called Apple this morning to clarify. Yeah, and I had them patch me in to Steve Jobs’ iPhone, where I asked the really hard hitting questions, “But what about pole? Hello? HELLO? STEVE?”

Thanks to b00geyman, who only smokes cheeba, it helps him with his brain, he might be a little dusted but he’s not insane.

Ha ha ‘what about pole?’, the writer of these websites could easily be one of my entourage, that’s how we are all the time! Ah I love those websites!

Check out Geekologie by clicking here.

(For the photo of the rash caused by the Piz Buin, please click HERE)

So I had a fairly awesome weekend of sunning it, except for Sunday night where the backs of my ears started getting itchy. On Monday (Yesterday) I had a rash everywhere I had applied Piz Buin In Sun SPF 15, and today (Tuesday) I’m probably going to kick the bucket! My eyes are swollen, my ears are swollen and there was quite a little belter in the pharmacy who would not stop staring at me…for all the wrong reasons. It honestly looks like I’ve been chilling in the boxing ring with Manny Pacquiao.

That’s me on the left, and Piz Buin SPF 15 In Sun Lotion on the right

So I’m not saying don’t buy Piz Buin, but actually…wait…I am. I used the Piz Buin SPF 15 In Sun Lotion last summer and it was fine, and I even used the Piz Buin SPF 30 Active Lotion two weeks ago with no problems. But the SPF 15 In Sun Lotion makes me look like I’ve been sleeping around and doing drugs.

The bottle that slayed a Greek God in Cape Town

I find hooking up with the opposite sex difficult enough as it is, and now we need to complicate things with a rash.

“What’s that rash?” Girl says

“Oh no just some sunscreen I used”

“Yeah whatever, I bet you do loads of drugs and sleep around”

You see where this leaves me Piz Buin? Summer has just kicked in on the Cape Town side, and now I’ve been sidelined from the action for God knows how long? A week? Two weeks? A month? From the other peoples concerns, it looks like I could be out of the pants party for a month. I mean, come on! Sort your stuff out, this is a joke. And you say your products are dermatologically tested? Whatever!

I’ve never had a rash from sunscreen and now this hits me…

Oh and I e-mailed you guys earlier, I trust you will be replying with a free holiday trip, or something or other to make up for the major inconvenience this is causing on my life.

Thanks! Spending summer indoors is really what I dreamed of!

Seriously though, the reviews from the latest batch of Piz Buin products are terrible, as seen on Review Centre. Let’s have a look at what some others said (There are loads of these reviews, all with the same problems):

“I returned from a 2 week holiday on 14th August, the last week being totally spolit by a nasty red and extremely itchy rash plus swelling around my neck and eyes from piz buin. I visited the local doctor and was given a steriod injection plus anti histamine tablets. One week later I am still suffering. Having read the other reviews of Piz Buin I am now sure that this was the cause of the problem. Like other reviewers I have used Piz Buin for many years, as has my husband, who also had a much milder reaction to this product. I will be taking this up with Piz Buin and urge others to do the same.”

And another review:

“I too have suffered a severe allergic reaction to the Piz Buin 1 day long lotion as described by others on this site, needing treatment with steroids and antihistamines. The itching is still a problem after 3 weeks but is now improving. I have used this product for the last 2 years and found it great but the problem seems to be that they have now added oxybenzone (look it up – its not nice!)to the product. The packaging gives you no reason to think the product has changed. I have contacted Johnsons who seem to have a team dealing with this problem. They will send out a questionnaire and have offered to refund the cost of the lotion. I would urge everyone who has suffered this reaction to contact them in the hope that this will make them reconsider using these chemicals, after all the product was great before! I would consider this product unsafe to use at the moment.”

Click here to read the rest of the stories.

I’ll keep you updated as to when I can leave the house again.

UPDATE: The new Piz Buin formulations use oxybenzone, commonly known to cause skin reactions, wow that’s very clever to add that to your formulations! This from the Island Tribe website:

“The most famous sunscreen is PABA (para amino benzoic acid). PABA became so well known because a significant number of people turned out to be allergic to it. Most products are now “PABA Free” but many people still have problems with one or another of the organic sunscreens. For example, Benzophenone (Oxybenzone) is an organic sunscreen that is commonly used. It is probably the one most associated with adverse reactions.”

So are SLXS looking at an Island Tribe sponsorship for the Cape Town Summer 2009/2010 season? I think that’s the direction we’re heading in.

With sunglasses, a book and a tea light candle for size perspective (That’s what she said)

You know how when you see a sale in a shop, and you don’t really have money, but the stuff is on sale so you buy it anyway, even if on credit? Well the new iPod shuffle is going to become one of those buys. At only R599 for a 2GB shuffle that holds around 500 songs, it’s one of those purchases that just needs to happen, especially when you see the new shuffle.

Firstly, there are no controls on the body of the iPod, it’s simply a little casing, and the controls are located on the earphone cable. Very clever on Apples part, because now you need to buy replacement cables from Apple. Very smart! So one the cable there is this little button, as seen above.

Press the top piece to increase the volume, the bottom to decrease it. Click the centre once to pause, twice to go to the next song and three times to go to the previous song. It’s insane! At first I thought this new cable control was going to be a huge mission, but it’s actually better than the previous shuffle.

Another awesome new feature is the voice over so it can tell you what song is playing, but more importantly you can turn the shuffle off and then on quickly again and a voice tells you how much battery power is left. Genius! It’s half the size of my “F U” finger, holds 500 songs, costs R599 and is simply stunning to look at!

I’ve previously owned regular iPods which are great, but for sports the iPod Shuffle is a winner. It’s small and hassle free, and the cool thing is if you break it/lose it it doesn’t cost a fortune. Obviously regular iPods are cool for taking loads of music everywhere and organising sick playlists and storing dirty photos and things, but the iPod shuffle is awesome.

Thumbs Up:

Affordable for everyone.

Small, easy to carry.

New buttons on the earphone cable make things really simple, especially during exercise.

It’s from Apple!

Thumbs Down:

You can only buy new earphones from Apple.

With it’s size, it’s easy to leave in a pocket that will end up in the wash…

An all round quality buy though, it keeps me happy. In my pants.

If you’ve got some spare cash lying around it’s always a good idea to buy a decent house from which to do nothing in! Playstation, X-Box, DVD’s, tanning, braaing…move to Clifton baby! Let’s have a look at this place I found for R55 million:

OUT OF AFRICA – NETTLETON ROAD

Sophisticated and finished to the highest specifications, this exquisite home offers a rare north facing aspect, overlooking the Nature Reserve. Generous accommodation and elevator access make this Peerutin designed home a must to view.

Features

Reception Rooms: 4
Bedrooms: 5
Bathrooms: 5
Parking:Garage(s): 3

General Features:
Balcony
Dining Room
Family/TV Room
Guest Cloakroom
Kitchen
Living Room
Patio
Study
Swimming Pool

Additional Building(s) & Living Areas:

Staff Accommodation:

Beds: 1, Baths: 1, Kitchens: 1

Look, not the worst place to live in and spend your time chilling. If you happen to have that sort of money lying around, then click here to buy it.

Alright alright!

So it’s summer time and I dig Richard Branson because he chills hard, but I can’t say I’m a huge fan of gym. As superficial, vain and shallow as I am, I can’t say I really care what I look like and have no motivation to go into the gym to work out to look like the dudes from Mens Health. I’d rather just carry on living my life!

I do quite enjoy being outdoors though, and trail running in Cape Town is an awesome way to enjoy the Cape Town outdoors, meet new people, get fit, lose the fat and just be a more awesome person. So…I started a group called Trail Running In Cape Town on Facebook in order to gather a group of people who are interested in some Cape Town Trail Running.

Basically we’d like to gather a group twice a week, one evening run in the week and possibly another on the weekend if you aren’t too hungover/high/sunburnt. The idea for running in a group is obviously for safety, but also to meet new people, and get more people trail running and experiencing the beauty of Cape Town. There are so many awesome trails to run that it kills me when I see people on the treadmill at Virgin Active. It breaks my sensitive heart!

And also with larger groups, we can all meet up and run at different paces without leaving anyone on their own. I think it’s awesome. So we’re just trying to get a decent amount of people in Cape Town interested to meet up for some trail running, and then we’ll do it. Do it!

We won’t be running a Ryan Sandes pace, so don’t stress too much.

Click here to join the group Trail Running In Cape Town, it will no doubt make you a better person. Or half the person.

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Awesome times in Cape Town!

I spent the better part of the weekend lazing at the Llandudno house and chilling down on the beach…which was glorious! There isn’t much to report back on because I did nothing and thought nothing. This is the way I like to spend my weekends! So we’ll just show you some photos:

That’s what I’m talking about! The married couple vibe going on was also quite cute. It’s a pity that you can’t marry yourself.

I totally would.

I do me.